A new mascot for old and young

I have long suspected that repressed traumatic events were the inspiration for most of the clip art we come across here at WTF Clip Art. I must admit I was shocked when finding this little visual confession. If that isn't the face of a prowler I don't know what is. The boy's terror induced rigidity can only allude to this bad touch session being a routine. The question to ask though is where will this be used? Who could possibly see this as an okay image to toss on their newsletter? One answer: NAMBLA. Personally I think this guy could be their mascot. He needs a good name. What do you guys think? Give us a name for this guy in the comments section.

Camp Kristallnacht

Myth: In late April of 1945 Adolf Hitler put a bullet in his head to "evade" capture from invading Russian troops thus officially ending the Nazi stranglehold on Europe and ending WWII on the European stage.

Fact: After narrowly escaping the clutches of the Russian army, Hitler fled to South America where he met up with surgeon and Moroccan expatriate Gad Chaddid who performed a superficial sex change operation that consisted of stuffing two five pound bags of playground sand under the skin above his pectoral muscles and binding his feet. Continuing his (her?) search for a weapon to overcome the Allies in the world of the occult he used his new identity to enter the United States and become a camp counselor at a northern New Jersey summer camp. While there, using the legendary Spear of Longinus (disguised as a canoe paddle) he soon uncovered the existence of a reanimated corpse that acted as a spirit of revenge against those seen to be at fault for the drowning of a young child, the decapitation of the child's mother and the slaughter of roughly 5 million Jews. Eventually the unknown entity was able to overcome Hitler in 1985, killing him by jamming a machete into his rectum and spinning him atop it like a dradle. The Spear of Longinus was never recovered and Hitler's body was misidentified as former tennis champion Billie Jean King. The mistake was rectified in 2001 when someone realized Ms. King was still alive.

Sources:
-The piece of shit piece of clip art above.

Tony Hawk's Pro Infanticidal Maniac

This is the most despicable misrepresentation of an icon of my youth I've ever seen. Look at this symbol of youth culture. Wielding cold steel. Stabbing a baby in the throat. All forgivable. But bright yellow pants? Tony Hawk would never! This is beneath driving a Pizza Hut truck and sporting an elusive red mullet! How dare they destroy my childhood so. That being said I'm sure this will be on a fucking Birdhouse shirt in Hot Topic by next week.

I said NO!

I can still hear the cries for help coming from the apartment of Glassy Eyes McGee and his wife Frogmouse. Her Pay-per-view porn addiction was tearing their marriage apart. Sure, in the beginning it was simple girl on girl prison soft porn, but as the days and months went by she would stay up all night watching frog smut, campy politically driven super porn and in the end, the most troubling cry for help of them all "The One Tape" (aka Back Door Sluts 9). Eventually he flew into a rage, throwing the TV into the wall screaming "No Moar!". He then turned on her. She squeak/croaked her last squeak/croak at 2:28am, Tuesday the 22nd of January, 1989. She will be missed.

...or someone needs to figure out some better subject matter before flinging useless mind numbing clipart upon the world. Fuck.

Accidentally Run Over and Documented in Vector Format

I won't even attempt to create a humorous caption to try and capture the meaning behind this.....Please let us know if you can find an appropriate place to use this in any sort of publishing.

My Desk is Currently Organized in this Manner.

I decided to do a quick search for pizza this afternoon rather then redraw a client's previous artwork, and realized my desk is extremely unorganized.

CD-Rs - Check
Artwork - Check
Invoices - Check
Bin with Pizza and Floppy Disk - .......fuck

Acid is fun.

We now have clip art from the mind of Wes Craven and Tim Burton's demonic, halucinegenic mushroom consuming bastard child. The clip art tag words for this said something about snakes and pillows. I'm calling bullshit on that. Those "snakes" are fucking forks. That pillow is very likely a sausage. So what we have here are two forks fighting over a sausage. They seem to do battle by spitting all over each other. The next stage will most likely involve some strange method of fork rape. At least that's what I can hope for. I can only hope that this image will remain a poor representation of... I don't know. Something... and stay the hell out of the real world. Should I ever see something like this in real life, rest assured, I will snatch up the offending forksnake and jam him deep into my temple thus ending shitty clip art's reign on my sanity.