Camp Kristallnacht

Myth: In late April of 1945 Adolf Hitler put a bullet in his head to "evade" capture from invading Russian troops thus officially ending the Nazi stranglehold on Europe and ending WWII on the European stage.

Fact: After narrowly escaping the clutches of the Russian army, Hitler fled to South America where he met up with surgeon and Moroccan expatriate Gad Chaddid who performed a superficial sex change operation that consisted of stuffing two five pound bags of playground sand under the skin above his pectoral muscles and binding his feet. Continuing his (her?) search for a weapon to overcome the Allies in the world of the occult he used his new identity to enter the United States and become a camp counselor at a northern New Jersey summer camp. While there, using the legendary Spear of Longinus (disguised as a canoe paddle) he soon uncovered the existence of a reanimated corpse that acted as a spirit of revenge against those seen to be at fault for the drowning of a young child, the decapitation of the child's mother and the slaughter of roughly 5 million Jews. Eventually the unknown entity was able to overcome Hitler in 1985, killing him by jamming a machete into his rectum and spinning him atop it like a dradle. The Spear of Longinus was never recovered and Hitler's body was misidentified as former tennis champion Billie Jean King. The mistake was rectified in 2001 when someone realized Ms. King was still alive.

Sources:
-The piece of shit piece of clip art above.