Acid is fun.

We now have clip art from the mind of Wes Craven and Tim Burton's demonic, halucinegenic mushroom consuming bastard child. The clip art tag words for this said something about snakes and pillows. I'm calling bullshit on that. Those "snakes" are fucking forks. That pillow is very likely a sausage. So what we have here are two forks fighting over a sausage. They seem to do battle by spitting all over each other. The next stage will most likely involve some strange method of fork rape. At least that's what I can hope for. I can only hope that this image will remain a poor representation of... I don't know. Something... and stay the hell out of the real world. Should I ever see something like this in real life, rest assured, I will snatch up the offending forksnake and jam him deep into my temple thus ending shitty clip art's reign on my sanity.

Interorectogestion

Hey. This guy here is jamming a turkey in his ass. How about that. The only application I could see this being useful in is placing it in the margin of a Comedy Central program guide on the night that South Park reruns the episode where everyone eats through their ass and poops out of their mouth. I actually feel bad for this poor bastard. It's obvious from the look on his face that this is a compulsion. He's sick people! Stop judging him! On the other hand he's ruining a perfectly good turkey by slamming it into his gaping maw. No matter how you feel about this the one thing I think we can agree on is the fact that it makes you rather hungry. I think it's lunchtime.

....i give up

I stared at this for fifteen minutes before deciding that not only is this piss poor clipart, but that it has absolutely no use in any context anywhere. Apparently someone out there has decided to camouflage what appears to be a tiger sporting a Flock of Seagulls haircut, wearing Ugg slip-ons into an over sized and obnoxiously tacky paintbrush. What kind of tiger wears fucking foot protection, and needs to hide behind a paintbrush? Fuck that. Looks like the paintbrush is rocking straight through his ass out his stupid surprised mouth...

Tigers are better then that, I want you all to know that...

Punch drunk off your ass

Finally. I am tired of doing projects where I need clip art that combines the angry aggression of fisting with the closeness of cunnilingus and coming up empty handed. But here we are at last. I can barely explain the comfort felt as I stick this in my next company newsletter. It can only be rivaled by the contented joy displayed by the smile on what I can only believe is the worlds happiest anthropomorphic rectal prolapse. I love it when clip art really speaks to me.

Why would I leave my sword there?

The murder aspect of this bit of clip art should be the most disturbing part, but it isn't. It's not so much that the victim with what I can only assume is half a sword jammed in his asshole is doing an inexplicable backbend that has had him come to rest on the instrument of his demise. Not the fact that the killer is not in the image and therefore still on the loose. What is the problem? The slave sitting on the giant Mike & Ike candy that is cringing at the site of the dead man's nether region. What could he be seeing? The sword's termination point? Was he rocking some serious hooker sores? Did his taint have a birthmark in the shape of Spain? What could it be? But, more mysterious still.... What the fuck could you ever use a piece of clip art like this for? Well, besides this of course.

Meat head

This image was found during a clip art search for "steak". That means that is a hot steak on this guy's head. Someone felt that anyone might one day have need of a picture of Bob the builder with a slab of steaming meat on his head. The innuendo seems perfect for a kids' portal to a hardcore gay porn site. What an asshole.

STFU Apple!

This bit of clip art is not just disturbing, but educational. I had no clue that large tongued grasshopper things detested apples so. Seriously though... what the hell is going on here?