Punch drunk off your ass

Finally. I am tired of doing projects where I need clip art that combines the angry aggression of fisting with the closeness of cunnilingus and coming up empty handed. But here we are at last. I can barely explain the comfort felt as I stick this in my next company newsletter. It can only be rivaled by the contented joy displayed by the smile on what I can only believe is the worlds happiest anthropomorphic rectal prolapse. I love it when clip art really speaks to me.

Why would I leave my sword there?

The murder aspect of this bit of clip art should be the most disturbing part, but it isn't. It's not so much that the victim with what I can only assume is half a sword jammed in his asshole is doing an inexplicable backbend that has had him come to rest on the instrument of his demise. Not the fact that the killer is not in the image and therefore still on the loose. What is the problem? The slave sitting on the giant Mike & Ike candy that is cringing at the site of the dead man's nether region. What could he be seeing? The sword's termination point? Was he rocking some serious hooker sores? Did his taint have a birthmark in the shape of Spain? What could it be? But, more mysterious still.... What the fuck could you ever use a piece of clip art like this for? Well, besides this of course.

Meat head

This image was found during a clip art search for "steak". That means that is a hot steak on this guy's head. Someone felt that anyone might one day have need of a picture of Bob the builder with a slab of steaming meat on his head. The innuendo seems perfect for a kids' portal to a hardcore gay porn site. What an asshole.